December 6,2013

UHHHHHH! I hate that we are six days into December and it is freaking 70 degrees! I needed air on and it is December! Good news is i received my academic pen for being awesomely smart. I really hope my chemistry grade doesn't bring my GPA down. Oh well. Today was a good day friend wise. They bring me down sometimes and i know i do it back but sometimes comments hurt. Maybe i should take it down a notch and see if it changes. But i don't know if i can because this i who i am and who i have learned to be. I had to be like this just to get through middle school and it will be hard to break. Maybe i shouldn't change. Oh my i have no idea what to do. Oh well i will get over it :)

November 24, 2013

This week and weekend have been pretty great. I love hanging out with my friends during the week and laughing so hard that i start balling! They can turn any bad event into a laughing frenzy. Especially my best friend i don't know what i would do without her! We just celebrated my niece's 4th birthday. It feels like just yesterday we were on our way to the hospital at 6 in the morning on a Saturday for her birth. She is so sweet and i love her so much. Time flies! I spent the whole weekend with my aunt which is always a blast because we sit around and watch movies! It would be ten times better with a hot boyfriend to cuddle with. Cassie told me the other day that Chip has never met his girlfriend. I wish he could like me and we could be happy but a happy ending doesn't seem to fit my lifestyle. One guy i like has a girlfriend, the other likes his ex and the other doesn't know that i exist! ya me! Oh well maybe i can be happy with just my dogs and food! Sure would be nice to be in love though.

November 13, 2013

Today was a pretty good day. My best friend keeps being out but she never tells me. It kind of gets on my nerves. Oh Well! Tomorrow is the spanish trip to AU but she won't be able to go. I have other friends going but i feel it won't be as fun without my bestie forecast! Plus Chip is going to go which will be awkward because I am pretty sure his mom told him that I have a crush on him. He has a girlfriend which obviously sucks but I still like he the same amount. I wish he could just man up and just come talk to me and we could go out and we could fall in love and be happy. That is my dream! I just hope it happens soon. If not I just hope I can find the man of my dreams before it is too late and I just hope i will notice it when it happens. I am just tired of being alone!! I see all these happy people walking down the hallway holding hands with these huge smiles on their face. I was there once but I was terrified when people saw who i was holding hands with. I still can't stand the fact that I made that stupid of a decision. I just hope one bad choice doesn't scare off the man of my dreams. I hope he can still love me for me.

November 11,2013

Today was a great day. I got to school and went straight to the band room to load instruments. I missed class for a veteran's day program which i am greatful to be a part of. We went and ate at burger king and i got ice cream! Went to school and went to the classes that i actually like. After school i had to go to several different places but i needed to after sleeping through seventh period. We got measured for uniforms which was awkward. She took my weight and was measuring all around my boobs and it was weird. I will get over it though because the new uniforms will be awesome!!!!

November 9, 2013

Since I didn't blog the past two days I will do those now even though no one is reading these and it is just for my satisfaction. Thursday was long like every school day. I had a wonderful day until i went to Kay's with my family for my grandmas birthday. My family picks on me which makes me not want to be around them obviously. They call me bi polar and they hurt my feelings. They do not realize that I would like to go through one family gathering where no one picks on me for my clothes, hair or life. Just give me a freaking break. It is mostly my sister who pisses me off and sometimes my cousin. They do not get that the more they torment me the more i want be around when i have a boyfriend. Now to Friday. It was a great day except the pep rally was really stupid and cold. The football game was Great!!! I got into a couple times with some of my band kids but we always get over it. We won with only 7 seconds left on the clock and are advancing to the second round of playoffs. Great night! Today was pretty great day too. Got to spend the morning with my beautiful niece I love so much. I spent the night and frooze my tail off. Came home and got ready to go to Anderson to do some shopping and go to O'Charleys for my grandmas big birthday party. The food was great and no family tormenting. I bought the third book to my series but i am already reading five books! Hopefully i will read it soon!

November 6, 2013

Today was actually a great day. My country outfit at school made me feel so sexy. I walked down the hallway with pride and it was great. I think Chip might have looked a few times ;) I still have a huge crush on him but I am suppressing those feelings to be happy without him. Maybe I will meet another guy that makes my heart stop like he does. I at least want to be in a relationship with chip once. Hopefully I will get my chance. I also wish I could feel sexy everyday. Maybe I should go dressed as a cowgirl everyday :)

November 5, 2013

This morning i saw chip's face and my heart sunk. I just had so much hope that maybe we could get together and for once i could be in a relationship where i am happy. I am so thankful for my best friend in the entire world! She can take a horrible situation and make it a positive. She can make me forget about everything and just laugh! Maybe one day i can find the right guy (maybe in the future, chip) but for now i am going to focus on my friends, family and schoolwork! But i am still going to stare at chip because he is so sexy!!! :) I at least still have that!

November 4, 2013

I just found out that the guy that i have had a crush on for quite a while has a girlfriend. It isn't that it hurts, it is that i feel that i will never find the love i want and deserve. I do not want to be lonely for the rest of my life! I want to go on my first date with a guy who makes my heart stop. I want to fall in love with a guy because i know in my heart he is the perfect guy for me. It frustrates me that, at my age, both my brother and sister had a spouse that they could go and have fun with. I am missing out on all of that! I don't want the be the old woman with 40 cats! Why can't i be happy and fall in love? I am so ready for the guy of dreams why can't he show up already?